Sunday, 4 December 2011

Still Awake!

I met up with a few of my friends tonight and had a fab time.  I'm so tired and sore now that sometimes I don't think the pain and fatigue is worth the hassle of going out, but then I see my pals and realise that yes it is.

It's fair to say that my family are number one and without them I would be a lost soul.  My friends also mean a lot to me, they're the ones I can talk to when I feel I don't want to burden my family.

Tonight my good friend Helene told me that she thought I looked better and that 6 weeks ago she was really worried about me and apparently spoke to some of our other friends too.

I love Helene, she knows me so well.  She knew when I was down and I didn't even have to tell her.

The truth is that I have been struggling of late and I wasn't sure what the problem was but now I think I know.

Just over a fortnight ago I went to have my Tocolizumab infusion and also wanted to speak with my rheumatologist while I was there.  On my way to the hospital I though about the conversation over and over again.  I wanted to talk to him about my shoulder and just how debilitating it really is.

In the next week or so it will be a year since I lost movement in my shoulder and therefore a year since I washed my own hair etc etc...It is so debilitating and also very frustrating.

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